We’re hoping it’s a breakthrough.

After 14 years of being stuck in a destructive pattern, last week Kate* had one of those “ah ha” moments. You know what I’m talking about….after struggling to feel more alive, like FOREVER! the moment arrives when the fog lifts and you see clearly.

Her pattern is a tough one…she’s in a relationship that diminishes her. She’s worked hard, and so far she just hasn’t been able to GET OUT.

Last week I asked: “What do you think is keeping you trapped?”

She answered quickly and firmly: “Noise!”

Instantly, I knew she was right. Her oppressor’s manipulative power plays masquerading as caring are louder and stronger than she is. She hears her voice in our sessions ~ where there is space, safety and support. But when she walks out the door she loses focus, clarity and strength. The hypnotic noise of the person who wields power over her shouts softly and she’s defeated, again.

She recognized it.

She got it.

We’re cautiously optimistic.

I see my past and present self in her. I’ve been easily manipulated, my life-force had been usurped used by others. As soon as I was able to name it, almost always with help, I GOT OUT and immediately made new choices that I just couldn’t make before.

I’ve thought about the qualities that have freed me, and that are freeing Kate. They are: Naming what I want, Desire and will, Strength, Help, and above all, vulnerable self-acceptance. These are the engines that drive healthy decisions, all of which are disabled when there is too much noise.

This is a pitch to encourage you to “come to quiet” every day. A time of quiet can be fuel. After silence, action, not the other way around. Listening to yourself is the first step into freedom from the your oppressors of life: an abusive relationship or job, the news, bummer life situation, even illness.

There is no one-size-fits-all-practice that will enable you to listen to yourself. Meditation apps are popular. Earthing is popular. Yoga is popular. Living in a tree like Brian** longs to do, or getting up at 5 a.m. as I do, are less popular, but always options.


I’m encouraging you to change a habit, break a pattern. You can make a decision to silence the noise by simply (but maybe not so easily) refusing to allow the distractions that bombard all of us to drown out our own voice.

Do it in your own way. It doesn’t have to be complicated; better if it’s simple.

Today, as Kate is doing now. Then tomorrow…

into Forever.

Here’s a treat for you: Go to:, and click on Breathing Space.

*Kate, of course, is not the name of the actual client

**My great assistant.

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